You'll Never Know
by Lei Xang
Summary: Heero believes that he's not allowed to have Relena, but he needs her. Lucky for him, he's found a way around it, peculiar as it may be. One-shot.


Disclaimer: *Sigh* Gundam Wing is NOT mine.  
  
AN: Heya, I just got the inspiration for this fic on a really cold night. It's a bit weird, but... Kind of nice. One-shot. R&R please!  
  
Summary: Heero believes that he's not allowed to have Relena, but he needs her. Lucky for him, he's found a way around it, peculiar as it may be.  
  
Rated PG  
  
'thoughts'  
  
"speaking"  
  
You'll Never Know  
  
One-shot  
  
It was like a second nature now. It had been going on for months and Heero was sure she'd never find out.  
  
Being a soldier and assasin, Relena could never be allowed to love him. He knew that he would only taint Earth's Borrowed Angel, as the media referred to her as. He had heard a ton of nicknames for her; Dove of Peace, Angel of Hope, Peaceful Princess, every one of them seemed true to him.  
  
Yes, he admired her, he could admit that. She had brought peace to the world and spent almost every minute of her day maintaining it, even at the age of fifteen.  
  
They were eighteen now, and in the last two years, Heero had become her bodyguard. They never really talked. He watched her every movement, and she simply acknowledged he was there. For the first year or so, he had been content with that. But eventually, his admiration of her grew into something more.  
  
Some may have called it love, but he couldn't. He didn't know what love was. He had heard that love could be the most wonderful, or awful feeling in the world. He didn't feel that. All Heero knew was that he needed Relena, bad. That she was like his life source; he'd never beable to live without her. She was entrancing, beautiful, and amazing.  
  
But he could never have her all to himself.  
  
She was too pure. He was tainted with the blood of all the people he had killed. From when he was five, to the day he was sixteen.  
  
Though he had vowed never to kill anyone again, Heero had taken the job the moment it was offered to him. Some one had once told him that the only way to live a life without regrets was by following your emotions. He had followed his emotions, but at that time, it had felt more like instinct. He knew very well that it could mean breaking his vow, but it would be for Relena.  
  
Following his emotions... was that why he did this every night? Was it love? An emotion foreign to him in every way... Was that what he was following? Heero had never felt love, he had no idea what it was, so why was he considering it? He wasn't sure, but he was sure that whatever it was, it was a need to him, a powerful, desperate need that could destroy him if he didn't fullfill it.  
  
His musings were cut short as he reached Relena's door. Dismissing the guard there, he entered it for his night shift.  
  
She was sitting at her vanity, brushing her golden locks. she had a long, elegant nightgown on that she wore only to make the press stop pestering her.  
  
They all thought of her as a princess, though she liked simplicity. Her advisors had told her it was wise to keep the press happy and give in to some of their "suggestions". So in came the four-poster, queen-size bed, fluffy, gold and white laced pillows, bedsheets, etc. And the ridiculous drapings to complete the princess look. Then there were the one or two nightgowns they wanted her to wear.  
  
Heero knew that Relena would've preferred a more ordinary look, but kept the people happy. That was all she did actually. She gave, gave and gave without ever taking anything back.  
  
When Heero entered the door, Relena gave him a small smile which he nodded in return.  
  
"Good evening." He nodded again.  
  
He took his place in her chair as she finished up. It was simple and comfortable. It overlooked the balcony doors slightly. Looking out the window, Heero watched the raindrops as they trailed down the doors.  
  
The lights were turned off and he allowed his eyes to rest. He could picture the light outside illuminating Relena's body under the blankets. He knew exactly what it would look like. Her hair would be fanned out lightly and her angelic face would looked peaceful. Her head would sink slightly into the pillows, and a soft hand would rest near her head. The blankets would only go up to her waist, and some of her nightgown could be seen. It's straps would be lightly resting on her shoulders, and most of her shoulders would be bare.  
  
He fell asleep for a bit, but his cold body woke him up a few hours later. It knew that there was something missing, and Heero knew that he'd have to be near to her to sleep. Checking his watch, he was sure that Relena would be asleep by then.  
  
Slipping off his jacket, shoes and belt, he slipped into bed with her. He gently stroked the length of her back, and took in a deep breath. He felt her arms wrap themselves around him instinctively. She moved closer to him, and rested herself close to his chest.   
  
She never woke up when he was with her, or else he would've woken up too. He never woke up until he had his normal six hours of sleep when he was with her, and he'd always be gone when she woke up.  
  
Within seconds, Heero drifted off into a peaceful sleep.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
In the middle of the night, Relena opened her eyes slowly. When she felt something strong up against her, she wasn't alarmed at all. She knew he did this now. She had always been a light sleeper. She had known the first night.  
  
When she woke up that night, she tensed, but didn't say anything. Heero must've felt it too, but she guessed he had thought it was a bad dream because he tightened his hold around her. He murmured to her slightly and she knew exactly who it was right then. She had relaxed and fallen asleep again, only to find he was gone by the next morning.  
  
That day, she dismissed it as a dream and continued with her day as usual, but that night, he had come again. She went along with it, afraid that if she asked him about it, he'd dissappear.  
  
It had been months now but he came back every night. She let him every night too. Relena didn't know if he knew she knew about his nightly visits but she never mentioned them.  
  
Relena had been infatuated with him before, but when this had began, it turned into full-blown love. The first time she had seen his face so peaceful, she began to fall deeper and deeper in love with him. Maybe one day she'd tell him, but for now, she was content with what she had. She'd play along with his game, but for how long she did not know.  
  
Relena's eyes became heavy and she closed them to fall back to sleep.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Morning birds were singing and Heero awoke, again relieved that Relena hadn't woken up first. He ran a hand through his hair and put on his jacket, shoes, and belt again. Turning around, he smiled at the girl's sleeping face.  
  
Straightening out the pillows and part of bed he had slept on, he stroked her face lovingly.  
  
Whatever had possessed him to do what he had done next was probably the same thing that drove him to begin these nightly visits, because Heero knew that even if he had fought it, he wouldn't of been able to win. He leaned over slightly and kissed her softly on her cheek. Relena stirred slightly and he quickly pulled away, slightly embarrassed.  
  
Without a moment to waste, Heero strode into the hallway and down to the kitchen for some coffee.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later that afternoon, Duo, Hilde, Trowa, Catherine, Quatre, Dorothy, Wufei, Sally, and Noin were gathered in Duo's living room. They were practically falling out of their seats near the end of the tape they were watching. At a point, all of their jaws dropped at the same time.  
  
Noin's jaw was pretty much scraping the ground. After a few minutes, she managed to close it and and look at Duo. "Duo, you doctored it, didn't you?"  
  
The braided boy turned around and, with his mouth still open, shook his head, once, twice, and three times.  
  
Hilde was the next to speak. "Heh, I bet you really don't want to tell either one of them you set up a camera in Relena's room now, huh?" Duo repeated his latest movements.  
  
"Well, you don't want Zechs to find out either, he'll first demand to see it, kill Heero, then let Heero know you set up the tape and then He'll kill you." Noin joked.  
  
Duo, who had finally managed to compose himself, laughed and rested his hands behind his head. "Nope, they'll never know."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hee hee, how did you like that? The last scene was originally not supposed to be in there, but the music I was listening to turned from slow to rock :P. R&R please! *Makes peace sign." 


End file.
